One of the most intimidating parts of the college application process is the personal statement or college essay. It’s your chance to show admissions officers who you are beyond your grades and test scores.  An effective college admissions essay stems from sincere self-reflection to reveal your authentic voice and principles. Rather than merely listing achievements, colleges are looking for a compelling narrative that illustrates your core values and positive qualities through anecdotes and examples. 

To avoid arrogance, show—don’t tell—your strengths by recounting specific experiences that demonstrate them. Additionally, essays describing challenges faced or lessons learned can adeptly balance confidence with vulnerability, providing insight into your ability to overcome adversity and grow as a person. Ultimately, the best essays use an engaging storytelling approach to meaningfully convey who you are beyond resumé bullets.

To write a good college essay about yourself, follow the steps below:

Start with self-reflection

Prior to writing, take time for introspective reflection to identify your core values, strengths, and motivations. Engage in a comprehensive brainstorming session, considering questions like: 

  • What three words would loved ones use to describe your character and why?
  • Who do you most admire and what about them inspires you? 
  • What experiences or influences have shaped your passions and aspirations? 
  • What achievements bring you pride and what shortcomings have prompted growth? 

As you explore your formative experiences and principles, contemplate how they align with your prospective university’s offerings and community. Brainstorm anecdotes that could compellingly illustrate your fit with the institution’s culture and academic vision. This self-reflection lays the foundation for an authentic, insightful personal statement.

How to write about challenges and mistakes

Many students feel inclined to write about challenges they’ve faced in their application essays. Adversity often catalyzes maturity, providing rich ground for a display of your character and perseverance.

Be vulnerable

The key is being vulnerable and open about not just the challenge itself, but your fears, frustrations, and feelings attached to it. Don’t hold back for pride’s sake. That vulnerability forges an intimate connection with admissions officers reading your story.

Bad example

My parents got divorced when I was 14 and it was really hard on me. I felt depressed for a long time.

This example states a difficult fact but does not provide any insight into the emotional experience or lessons learned. It lacks vulnerability and emotional resonance.

Good example

When the judge’s gavel finally struck, announcing my parents’ divorce finalized, it felt like a hammer blow shattering the family I had once known. In the weeks after, I would lie awake at night, hot tears soaking my pillow, asking myself – was it my fault? Did I not show them enough love? Those feelings of responsibility and despair over the broken home consumed me. However, over time I learned that though I couldn’t repair their relationship, I could rebuild my own sense of self-worth from the rubble…

This example immerses the reader in the raw pain and introspection the writer experienced. It expresses vulnerability through vivid descriptions of the emotional journey rather than surface-level statements.

Don’t overshare

While you want to be vulnerable, there’s also a line that shouldn’t be crossed regarding what is too personal or too much information. Keep your essay focused on highlighting aspects of your journey and growth, not extraneous or overly graphic details.

Bad example

My lifelong battle with depression and anxiety reached a terrifying low my junior year. I stopped going to class, had frequent panic attacks, and even began having thoughts of self-harm. My parents forced me into therapy and on medication, which I initially resisted…

This example goes into very personal details about mental health challenges in a way that feels overly exposed.

Good example

My junior year, I hit a stumbling block that forced me to overcome my biggest obstacle yet – myself. Consumed by negative thought patterns, I struggled to maintain my motivations. However, with help from loved ones and counselors, I emerged from that valley with a newfound reserve of resilience. I realized that adversity is inevitable, but allowing it to become a roadblock was a choice I no longer had to make.

This example maintains privacy around personal challenges while still expressing vulnerability. The focus is on the insight and growth gained.

Share what you have learned

One of the best ways to write about yourself is by reflecting on important lessons and periods of personal growth. Don’t just state the lesson though, reinforce it through a specific and insightful anecdote.

Reflecting on a lesson learned (Example)

Looking back, my shyness throughout elementary and middle school stemmed from a deep insecurity of being half-Mexican in a dominantly white area. Though my parents empowered me with the richness of Mexican culture, I rejected and was ashamed of that part of my identity after being teased for it. It wasn’t until high school that I started embracing my background with pride. When the Spanish teacher wanted a Spanish host for orientation, I took a risk and volunteered despite my severe social anxiety. Hearing the roaring applause after my introduction filled me with so much unexpected validation. From there I became ravenous to keep learning about and immersing myself in my heritage. I joined the Spanish Club, watched interviews with famous Latinx figures, and asked my grandfather to teach me to cook authentic recipes from our Mexican roots.

This example leads with an honest self-realization about past insecurities. It then reinforces how the applicant overcame those struggles through a subtle yet pivotal moment, paving the way for continual appreciation of one’s identity and culture.

How to write about your achievements and qualities

While colleges want to accept students who have persevered through challenges, they also want well-rounded individuals who have excelled in areas they are passionate about. Your essays provide an opportunity to showcase achievements that capture leadership, creativity, determination, and other positive qualities.

However, you have to strike a skillful balance. Nobody wants to read an entire essay of admission-pandering self-promotion. The key is being insightful and allowing your accomplishments to speak for themselves rather than explicitly stating how amazing you were.

Brag indirectly

When discussing your accomplishments and activities, avoid listing them out directly like a resume. Instead, weave them into illustrative anecdotes and narratives that show rather than explicitly state your achievements

Bad example

“I have a 4.0 GPA because I am extremely smart and work very hard.”

Claiming to be smart and bragging about grades can sound arrogant.

Good example

After our science lab, I stayed after to carefully review my data and procedures. I noticed a small mistake that could have thrown everything off. I spent hours meticulously recalculating and fixing my analysis to ensure the highest accuracy. Doing the most thorough work possible matters to me.

This conveys academic diligence and pursuit of knowledge through an anecdote instead of just stating grades.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Rather than simply stating your positive qualities, illustrate them through personal anecdotes and specific examples. Even without an extensive resume of accomplishments, you can compellingly showcase your academic drive, talents, and strength of character by telling descriptive stories that provide evidence of those traits in action. 

Show, don’t just tell who you are by drawing from real-life experiences that represent the admirable characteristics you wish to highlight.  

Bad example

I am a very organized student.

Saying you are organized isn’t convincing without examples to back it up.

Good example

Every Saturday, I made a detailed schedule for the upcoming week, neatly organizing all my homework, chores, activities and tasks into a color-coded checklist. Crossing cada little things off my list made me feel accomplished. Staying on top of the small stuff really matters to me.

This paints a picture of an organized person through the habitual checklist behavior described, rather than just stating they are organized.

How to write about a cliché experience

While writing about common topics like extracurriculars, volunteering, or family, aim to offer a fresh perspective through authentic personal details and a distinct narrative voice. Rather than simply recounting the chronological events, focus your essay on a singular revealing moment and employ vivid sensory descriptions to immerse the reader in the specific scene. 

Incorporate references to objects, sights, or memories that hold special meaning for you. Instead of following a predictable story arc, include an unexpected insight, realization, or detour that defies conventions. 

Your unique way of framing a universal experience can make a familiar topic feel novel while simultaneously providing a window into your own personality and way of seeing the world. When read aloud, your essay’s prose should capture the candid cadence of your speaking voice.  

Bad example

My best friend Jessie is someone I really admire. She’s super smart and kind to everyone. We’ve been friends since kindergarten and she’s always been there for me.

This is very vague praising language without substantive examples to back it up. The claims about Jessie’s character traits come across as clichéd.

Good example

Jessie has this uncanny ability to make even the most socially awkward person feel instantly at ease. I vividly remember the time she befriended the new girl, Emily, on the first day of 7th grade. While the rest of us shyly avoided the obvious “new kid,” Jessie bounced right over, flashing her trademark dimpled smile. “Love your roots, girl! Did you just go strawberry blonde?” she asked with sincere enthusiasm about Emily’s hair. From that moment, Emily blossomed out of her shell, laughing and swapping stories like they were lifelong friends. Jessie’s warmth and emotional generosity are simply unparalleled. Her favorite hobby is making caring art for friends – from handwritten lyrics to favorite songs, to painterly landscapes of meaningful locations. I still cherish the painting of my childhood neighborhood park hanging in my childhood bedroom from her. It captures that tenderness and thoughtfulness that makes Jessie uniquely wonderful.

This example vividly illustrates Jessie’s warm, generous personality through a specific moment of her befriending the new girl at school. The details about her dimpled smile, genuine interest, and thoughtful artwork she made really bring her admirable qualities to life memorably.